Waiting

If you’re waiting, don’t be so cryptic. This mouth hides behind a malign mask. You must peel away the shadow that has crawled up these legs. If you’re waiting, send a flash. I’ll come in seconds. Do not fear the ramblings of my heart, for it only trusts those worth loving. If you’re waiting, know I am, too.

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10 comments so far

  1. ThomG on

    Noah, you’ve really hit a spark with Fiction in 58. This one burns up the page. Cool beans, my friend.

  2. noahthegreat on

    Thanks. 😀

    I wouldn’t be doing them without you here, so don’t act like you’re not important as well! Hehe.

  3. Andy Sewina on

    Nicely Noah, you must have quite a collection of 58’s by now – it would be good to see them published in a book, sometime. I really like the image of ‘the shadow that has crawled up these legs’. Also, cleverly titled – ‘Waiting’, me too!

  4. Amarettogirl on

    these words are so deeply loving, they’re strands of pearls these sentences and I so enjoyed reading this!!!

  5. ~willow~ on

    Wow. So much implied yet unsaid. This piece was arresting in its succinctness.

    I’ve been seeing mention of Fiction in 58 on my rounds of this week’s 3WW, will have to look into it. I know I tend to be verbose, perhaps this will help me? 😀

  6. pjd on

    This makes me sad, in a way. I’m not sure why.

  7. Gillian Taber on

    Not sure I understood it completely, the shadow thing seemed a little obscure but that could just be me missing the point! I simply admire your ability to do these prompts in so few words! Bravo

  8. noahthegreat on

    I’m an INFP and I am Bipolar. Both generally have shadows of themselves that haunt them sometimes, so I incorporate that thought into work a lot.

  9. Angel on

    I agree with the other person about the shadow line. I think the piece would have been just as good without that line. It doesn’t fit as well for me.

    I love your writings though!

  10. pieceofpie on

    a personal poetic love poem if i ever read one… we’re always waiting for a response…


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