Deceit lined her eyes like black mascara as deep and dark as the soul beneath. He knew this and spoke lies of love that rang true once his soul heard. Their hate grew vast and brought a lust that both indulged. Both screamed oaths as they gave the other what they both really wanted yet would never admit.


7 comments so far

  1. pia on

    Lust is right. This captures it–love the first line as I can visualize it so well

  2. ThomG on

    Visually stimulating read, young man.

  3. Christy on

    Enjoyed what you did with the 3 words here. Especially the last sentence. Well done!

  4. Angel on

    Oooh, nice one!

  5. Mendur on

    Heh. Interesting take on relationships.

    The imagery was good in this one but the sentence that stood out for me was the first one. Have you thought about writing hard-boiled detective stories? That’s the kind of story which would feast on imagery like “black mascara as deep and dark as the soul beneath.”

  6. Ann (bunnygirl) on

    Very nice. I think I’ve been in a relationship like that. You captured a particular type of insanity well.

  7. gautami tripathy on

    That first line is sheer poetry!

    gyrating on its own steam of oath

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